Here’s Why It’s Not Your Fault (And What To Do About It)
Let me start with this:
If you’re a woman over 40 and you’ve spent most of your life either on a diet, coming off a diet, or thinking you should be on one?
It’s not a lack of willpower.
It’s not that you’re broken.
It’s that you’ve been swimming in diet culture since the day you picked up your first teen magazine.
And it’s still messing with your head—how you eat, how you move, and how you feel in your body.
What Is Diet Culture?
Diet culture is the collective belief system that says:
• Thin = healthy
• Food has moral value (good vs bad), and you’re a good/bad person for what you stick in your gob
• Exercise is punishment, or a chore
• You are more worthy if you’re smaller
It’s in Weight Watchers points.
It’s in “Syns.”
It’s in “earning your food” and “being good today.”
It’s in gym ads, magazine headlines, and the fact that most of us can name the calories in a banana without even trying.
But here’s what diet culture never taught you:
• How to trust your body
• How to listen to hunger and fullness cues
• How to rest without guilt
• How to separate the way you LOOK from the way you FEEL
How It’s Fucked With Your Head (And Body)
Let’s get science-y for a sec. Diet culture doesn’t just hurt your self-esteem. It literally rewires how you think, feel, and behave around food.
1. It triggers the binge-restrict cycle
Every time you restrict calories, your brain will kick in to keep you alive. Cue:
• Cravings
• Obsessive thoughts about food
• Rebound eating
Studies show that dieting increases the likelihood of binge eating—not because you’re “weak” but because your body is trying to protect you. [[Polivy & Herman, 2002]]
2. It damages body image
Being exposed to thin-ideal media increases body dissatisfaction—especially in women over 40, as we grapple with our bodies changing with age, hormones, and life. [[Grabe, Ward, & Hyde, 2008]]
3. It erodes self-trust
Repeated ‘failure’ on diets leads to shame, guilt, and the belief that you’re the problem—not the plan. [[Mann et al., 2007]]
Laura’s Story: From Diet Survivor to Food Freedom
Let me introduce you to Laura.
41 years old.
CrossFitter.
Former serial dieter.
She says it best:
“It would be quicker to name the diets I haven’t done. Slimming World? Joined 58 times. Fasting. Laxatives. Starving. It all led to the same thing: binge restrict, binge restrict… for 25–30 years.”
Laura started dieting at age 12. She’s now 41. That’s nearly three decades of internalised diet culture.
But in 2023, we started working together.
We didn’t chase another weight-loss plan.
We dug deep into her beliefs around food, movement, and worth.
And today?
“I don’t think about food all the time. I’m a normal eater. I feel free for the first time in my life.”
It took time. Unlearning this stuff just does. You have to get comfortable with that.
But it was worth it for Laura. She didn’t just lose weight. She gained peace.
So… What Do You Do Instead?
We can’t unpick 30+ years of messaging in one blog post (I’m good but I’m not that good ♀️)
But we can start.
Here are three research-backed, real-life strategies to begin shifting things:
1. Ditch the morality around food
There’s no such thing as a “good” or “bad” food.
Food has no moral value.
And you don’t need to ‘treat’ yourself with food – you’re not a fucking dog.
Start catching your language.
No more “I’ve been good today” because you ate a salad.
No more “I was naughty” because you had dessert.
Swap guilt for curiosity: “Did that satisfy me?” “Do I feel energised?”
♀️ 2. Reclaim movement for joy, not punishment
Studies show that people who move for enjoyment are more consistent and experience better mental health. [[Segar et al., 2016]]
Start asking:
What would I do if exercise wasn’t about changing my body?
Dance? Hike? Lift heavy shit? Play?
Choose that.
3. Start rebuilding body trust
This one takes time. But it starts with one simple practice:
Check in with your hunger before every meal.
Not from a place of restriction. Just awareness.
“How hungry am I right now?”
You’re re-learning your body’s cues. Reconnecting with the inner wisdom you had before diet culture made you ignore it.
Ready to go deeper?
If any part of you is screaming “YES! This is me!”
Then know this:
✨ You are not the problem.
✨ You don’t need more discipline, you need deprogramming.
✨ You can trust your body again. It’s not too late.
This is exactly the work I do with my coaching clients.
If you’re ready to break up with diet culture for good, rebuild your self-trust, and finally feel normal around food again
Let’s stick a middle finger up to shrinking.
